Becoming a mother has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, also the hardest. Everyday I learn something new and it is such a joy to watch my girls learn and grow. I am far from perfect as a mom but I have already learned so much in my short time. Here are 5 tips that I have for turning yourself into an awesome mom. For those moms out there, I would love in the comments for you to share your tips so that we can help lift each other up. After all there is always room for improvement.
Of course the big bonus for me is that I get to share some photos of my two beautiful girls.
1. Hire Professionals
Becoming a mom can be a lonely and scary. There seems to be an expectation that because we carried the baby, we know what to do. Add to this the "supermom" stereotype that we are all supposed to strive towards and it is easy to feel like we don't measure up. All of this means that we often struggle alone. This has to change. If we don't know what to do, hire a professional; they are a professional for a reason and can not only give you the support you need but can generally solve your problem much faster than you could on your own.
Over the course of my motherhood journey I have done baby classes, hired a doula, did baby sign language, got professional photos, hired a sleep expert and if I was to do it again would hire all of them again, just much sooner.
Pictured is one of the great photos we got when we hired a professional (this is actually one of our vendors Lindsey Gagnon Photography & Craft)
2. Practice Self-care
You can't take care of others if you don't first take care of yourself. So many moms I know are run ragged, they are trying to do everything for everyone else but are failing to take care of themselves. Trust me, you are a much better mom when you take some time for yourself. This doesn't have to be the big things, although those are nice to. Build in self-care options everyday. Without fail I journal, workout and read everyday. These may be small things that don't take much time but doing them puts me in a good mood, gives me energy and the proper mindset to chase the kids around all day.
Pictured is one of my post workout selfies. Working out allows me to keep up with the kids and to set an example for them.
3. Ask For Help
We need to stop with the supermom. I just hate this stereotype and feel like it should be retired once and for all. No one can possibly do it all, implying that you can simply sets up moms for failure. It is not about being more organized or efficient; there is simply not enough hours in the day to do everything that is expected. The real superheros are the moms who have learned this and can ask for help and then recieve it without feeling like they failed as a mom. Asking for help is NOT a weakness, it is a huge strength! Being strong enough to ask for help in my books means that you are comfortable with yourself enough to realize that to make the best life for you and your kids, you need some extra help. It really takes a village, we need to start using them. The next time someone says they would love to babysit or asks if you need anything at the store, say yes. This is a life skill that will make you feel supported and remind you that you are not alone and do not have to do it all.
I for one very much struggle with asking for help so have been trying to actively work on it. It is in my nature to put on a front that I have everything together and asking for help goes against this. I have learned though that people like to feel useful and are often thrilled that you asked. Make it part of your weekly pratice to ask for help, I bet you will be surprised by the results.
4. Throw Out Our Expectation on How Life Should Be
We all have expectations when we become a mom on how things will go, I know I did. I was going to have two well behaved kids, one boy and one girl. They would respect me, always look adorable and we would be this picture perfect family. I would never yell or raise my voice and we would enjoy lots of home cooked meals in our very clean house. How wrong I was! Now before you start feeling sorry for me, you need to understand that my life is perfect and I wouldn't change anything about it. It just isn't how I imagined it would it. I have two girls who are very well behaved in public (notice I said in public), they do always look adorable (even when they haven't brushed their hair all week and insist on wearing their fuzzy PJ's to run errands), I raise my voice more than I wish I did and we enjoy take out or frozen pizza's at least once a week, often in front of the TV as I am too lazy to clean the kitchen table. While I am all for dreaming and having a plan I also realize how important going with the flow is. Motherhood is an adventure that will take you to unexpected places.
5. Build Your Mom Tribe
Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had! It is exhausting in a mental and physical way that no other job I have held has been. Without the group of moms I surround myself with, I don't think I could I do it. Other moms get it in a way that people without kids can't. They have tricks to help, can relate and more importantly have kid proof homes where you can let your little ones run around without worrying about the destruction that can be caused the second you turn your back. One of the best things you can do as a mom is to surround yourself with other moms. This mom tribe is there to help and there is no better pick me up than talking to another mom.
If you enjoyed this post, please check out our post All You Need To Know About Becoming a Mom